It's come to my attention that there's an unspoken epidemic amongst mums that I think needs to be spoken about. I have ...seen it come up time and time again in Mum forums which makes me feel that there is something to be explored here.
Many mums (myself included) have lost their desire for sex completely. This leaves us feeling bewildered as to what happened and many are searching for answers as to what is wrong with them. I've seen all sorts of explanations - hormone imbalance, depression, baby weight, exhaustion - which all seem plausible and may well contribute to or be the cause of an individual's loss of libido. But what about Mums who have had their baby years ago and still have no sex drive? Maybe it's something more?
I'm a person who has decided to do what I can to let go of what no longer serves me in this world (old habits, behaviour patterns, thought patterns and beliefs) and move towards what does - even if it is uncomfortable or scary. I'll tell you that nothing scares me more than facing this problem but I have to, for myself and for my marriage with a beautiful, caring man whom I adore.
I've seen mums trying their best to advise each other on what to do about this situation. "Try some role play, watch porn together, try different positions and locations etc" but no, no, no - this does not address what I feel is the ache in a woman's heart about this issue - it's deeper than that. Putting on a costume only hides the pain and denies us from bringing to the surface our inner most needs.
I've stumbled across this extract in my search for a perspective that brings to light the spiritual nature of love making. It speaks volumes to me about why women lose their sex drive especially after having children. I implore you to read it if this post speaks to your heart or your fears. Even if the spiritual stuff isn't for you - it says a lot about how we have come to place in society that uses sex for personal gratification rather than a sacred bond between two individuals.
With much love and respect
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