Do you ever feel sometimes like you’re a little girl living in a woman’s body? Hopefully some of you are saying yes and I’m not sounding like a crazy person. Or maybe I just need to explain more? What do I mean when I say I feel like a little girl? I mean that I’m noticing that I’m still living out kid based fears and worries in my adult life. Like whether I’m being excluded socially or if people like me. Worrying about getting "in trouble" (that’s a big one for me) with authority figures like my parents or even my child’s school teacher. Also, I've been worrying about making mistakes, so much so that I've not even been taking a step towards my goals. That’s little Bron thinking, like the one in the picture (me on my 5th birthday).
I think what’s supposed to happen is that as we become adults, we become more sure of ourselves. We know who we are, what we stand for and care less about what others think of us and more about the wellbeing of others. Well, that’s what I think of when I consider what it means to be an adult anyway.
Recent experiences in my life tell me that I have some growing up to do. I’ve been playing a game called – 'Run Around in Circles Screaming “I don’t know what I’m doing!”'. Well, I’m certain that I will continue to encounter situations where I’m not sure of my next step but I can always be sure of myself. If I choose to be. Can it really be that simple, to just choose? I think so. Because I’ve reached that place inside of me before. When I’m calm, still and listen to my heart, there is a deep wise knowing inside of me. If I just grant myself the time and space to go there – I can find resolve in any situation.
That’s the growing up part. Choosing to spend more time clearing space for myself so I can calm down, soothe the inner child that has me hiding from being straight with people (least they don’t like me because of it) and stand in my knowing that I’m capable, more than capable of doing the adult thing. No doubt I will find myself falling into old child like patterns again but I can certainly set the intention to notice, have compassion and step forward with the accountability of an adult. Bye, bye baby, it’s adult time.
With love
Bron (adult in the making)
I think what’s supposed to happen is that as we become adults, we become more sure of ourselves. We know who we are, what we stand for and care less about what others think of us and more about the wellbeing of others. Well, that’s what I think of when I consider what it means to be an adult anyway.
Recent experiences in my life tell me that I have some growing up to do. I’ve been playing a game called – 'Run Around in Circles Screaming “I don’t know what I’m doing!”'. Well, I’m certain that I will continue to encounter situations where I’m not sure of my next step but I can always be sure of myself. If I choose to be. Can it really be that simple, to just choose? I think so. Because I’ve reached that place inside of me before. When I’m calm, still and listen to my heart, there is a deep wise knowing inside of me. If I just grant myself the time and space to go there – I can find resolve in any situation.
That’s the growing up part. Choosing to spend more time clearing space for myself so I can calm down, soothe the inner child that has me hiding from being straight with people (least they don’t like me because of it) and stand in my knowing that I’m capable, more than capable of doing the adult thing. No doubt I will find myself falling into old child like patterns again but I can certainly set the intention to notice, have compassion and step forward with the accountability of an adult. Bye, bye baby, it’s adult time.
With love
Bron (adult in the making)
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